Questioning Friendships.

Well hello there! It's so nice to blog in ACTUAL sunshine for once, but rather weirdly I'm still sat inside like a true internet freak. Anyway this week I've been a little down and my effort to do anything was low.

I don't know if its just me, but sometimes I get those moments in life when I get confused about life in general, like almost breakdown stage, and this time it was about friendships.

I really don't know what triggered it but one day I just was sat in my college lesson and thought 'Are any of my friends real friends?' Like, would they ever invite me somewhere if I wasn't awkwardly sat next to them and did it out of sympathy? It gets you really paranoid that everyone around is feeling sorry for you and is only there out of sympathy rather than generally being there as a good friend. 

I guess I would say I'm not the biggest social butterfly ever (why else would I be on the internet most of the time?) and I'm incredibly introverted which I hate because you don't know how badly I want to break out and be a more 'Off the walls' person like some of my friends, but something inside me stops that and it sucks.

I think that's why I love to blog, the community on here is great, you find people who are in same situation as you and almost care more than people you know in real life. Seriously, you don't know how happy it makes me to see one of my followers on here or tumblr message me and have a normal conversation like we've known each other for ages, its comforting. 

I know that my friends are actually always there for me and I know that there are 2 people that most definitely don't fit into this blog post. One has been my friend since I was about 8 and even though we go to different colleges we get on like a house on fire, even though we are chalk and cheese. She's the big extrovert while I'm the introverted one. So many people ask 'How are you friends with each other?!' and we really can't answer that, because it baffles both of us, but it works and I don't know what I'd do without her.

The other was the girl I talked to this about, we have been friends through secondary school and it wasn't until we had identical friendship problems that we got closer (And the fact that her class is next to mine) she felt just like me sometimes and after a very deep conversation I was really surprised at how similar we were, and I would say that she is my closest friend after it (And she's the only one that understands my 1D obsession but we won't go into that haha) 

So that's it! Have any of you been in my position? What makes you get out of this funk? Let me know! 

Don't be scared to talk to me, I'd love to hear from you guys! 

Comment below or talk to me on tumblr: thisfandomneedshelp.tumblr.com

Enjoy the sunshine!

x